Monday, May 25, 2009

A Writing Exercise from Onkel Hankie Pants

In his recent blog post, Onkel Hankie Pants said:

"Anomalously, there was a lawnmower sandwiched between the Bibles. (Now, there’s a writing class exercise: Take that last sentence and create a reasonable context for it.)"

And I thought, Yes, that would be a good writing exercise. And seeing as how it's Memorial Day and I am at work with an empty stomach I'm trying to distract, I thought I'd give it a shot.

So, here you go!

All she could recall were books. When friends asked her about childhood pets or toys, she would reply with statements such as, “We had a big red dog” or “I had a velveteen rabbit I just adored.” She knew these to be true, though not quite accurate. Her friends, from slightly less literate families, never seemed to pick up on her little un-truths, as she liked to call them.

Every room had a bookcase, at least one. She often found it odd that the one room devoid of reading material was the bathroom – one of the few rooms where books could be found in playmates houses. Even the garage, rarely, if ever, used for storing cars, and even less often used for building and repairing, held volumes of friends. These garage rejects were often the result of duplication purchasing, something her mother was known to do at the local rummage sales. There were no less then three copies of Moby Dick, Oliver Twist and Goodnight Moon.

Most off putting to the friends that came to explore this strange library were the Bibles. They thought it most irreverent to store these holy books in such an unusual place. Unlike the novels and encyclopedias, the Bibles were all lined up together, neat and tidy. She had designed this space for the Bibles specifically, hunting throughout the piles of hard covers and paperbacks for the red or black bindings that spoke of faith. Anomalously, there was a lawnmower sandwiched between the Bibles. No one was ever sure why she had chosen the location surrounding the lawnmower for her shrine, but that was the way she liked it. The Bibles became her territory, as did the lawnmower, and thus began her love of reading, religion and landscaping.