The Waiting Begins

"In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God" - John 1:1

Yesterday was the first day of Advent, and my present was a very sparkly advent calendar! The thing I especially like about this calendar is that when you open the door it not only has a cute little picture, but a bible verse on the back of the door - the above was from Dec. 1st.

I like that John opens this way, because it reminds me of the way many oral storytelling traditions begin, with some sort of salutation or commitment to a higher power. A modern use of this can be seen in Iranian films which began (are required to begin) with "In the name of God"

I would like to begin my films in some similar way - just an acknowledgment of something greater then me having an influence on my storytelling and my art.

That's it for now since I'm borrowing a friend's computer and he needs to go.

Contemplative Advent!

The House on Your Shoulders

You may or may not know that I am somewhat obsessed with shows about serial killers. I have no idea why, but I'm sure one of the profilers on my current favorite show, Criminal Minds, could tell me.

Tonight they went to Mexico to solve a crime - I'll spare you the details since they have not much to do with this post, and you may be eating while reading.

At the end of the episode, they had a Mexican proverb (I should have googled to see if it's real, but it doesn't really matter).

The proverb went, "The house does not stand on the ground, it stands on a woman."

This really struck me because not only have I had a number of changes in my life, including my home, recently, but some women close to me have as well. Yesterday, my mom, AuntieKnickers blogged about her mom and how well she handled moving around throughout her adult life. It strikes me that their house - their home - was built upon her shoulders, and so it did not matter where they were physically, as long as they had her holding them up.

Because of the way my life is set up right now, I have to be able to carry my home with me, whether it's because I am moving permanently, or just housesitting for friends. This always feels a little scary, but after it's done, I never know what I was worried about. Someone close to me (you probably know who...) has been having a lot of upheavals in her life recently, and I think she would probably make some beautiful piece of art work out of this proverb right now. She is learning not only how to carry her home with her, but what that home looks like, what it feels like. The hardest part about this maybe that you cannot be prepared to learn this lesson. It is not something that you plan on happening, and most of us probably think we've already got it figured out - I think she did, and I usually do until something goes wonky and the foundation I thought I built strong starts to crumble.

I like this proverb a lot, but I think if I were re-writing it I would say that "...the house sits on the family". Sometimes that family is your given family, and sometimes your chosen, but no matter who you are... even Wonder Woman had Wonder Girl backing her up. I don't think My grandmother could have held up her house without the love and support of her family.

Many Tasks, Many Blessings... Little Sleep!

Today was a busy day for me, though not as busy as tomorrow will be, but I still didn't get everything done I meant too (more on why later).

First I had my first day of my internship with Werc Werk Works - and as I my friends said, I work work worked! Basically I helped one of the producers transcribe interview footage for better organizing and an easier edit down the line. Because the company is new, it is definitely an all hands on deck mentality, which makes me happy to be there, because I feel like I am actually helping, not just doing busy work! Plus, the receptionist is super nice and offers to get me coffee! Not that I would ask her to do that, cause that'd be weird and totally not necessary; but like AuntieKnickers said, it's nice not to be the one getting coffee at an internship!

So, after my morning at the internship, I hopped a bus straight to school and commenced with my post-production work... well, "work" my be a bit strong. Honestly, none of us are really 'feelin' it when it comes to our current projects, so we kind of mosey along when it comes to editing.

Anyway, I did do some work, but I also had some fun chats with friends. Lately, my friends have been teasing me, calling me a Hardcore Christian. Now, the funny thing is that a year or two ago, this would have really bothered me. I had a real problem even calling myself a christian, let alone talking openly with school friends about my church life.

Now, I have this kind of peace with it. I recognize that I am, and always will be, on a journey, trying to figure out what I can do to share and be thankful for the blessings I have. And I think that one way for me to do that is by not shaming myself about my faith.

And I think that's also largely how I can share my blessings, because it often seems like people my age (and slightly younger) only of two kinds of faith - Hardcore Christian faith and Faith in Nothing. I like the idea that I could broaden their concepts in that way.

Oh, and back to that not having time... I'm afraid there is a sort of illness going through my new place - at least, my roommie's GF was sick, and he skipped class today because he didn't feel well, and although I've been doing a lot to try and stay well, I am craving chicken soup and orange juice and sleep.

So, the sleepiness kept me from doing things I should have, but there you are. It happens. I'll leave you with some photos of my chicken soup - made from scratch last night - and some of my editing classmates. Enjoy!

Making My Life That Much Crazier!

Auntie Knickers has encouraged me to try and write a blog post everyday this month. Since I'm not doing anything else, I guess I will.

Wait, what? That's not right. I'm pretty sure I have a lot to do.

But I'm going to try and do it anyway, since interesting things are finally happening!

Here are some highlights from the past month to catch you up:

• School continues - I am taking 4 classes this semester including American Government and Politics (fulfilling my last gen ed requirement) which is very interesting, though difficult since it is in a basement classroom with bad lighting at the end of a very long day. sigh. but we went to a town hall meeting on healthcare last week, and saw lots of educated, middle-class, white people agree with each other. yay! (that was sarcasm)
  
• Church responsibilities abound - honestly, I am becoming more and more disillusioned with my church community, which is sad and frustrating, and maybe I'll write all about it another day. But in the meantime, I am still on the Christian Education board and am the organizer for a monthly movie night through the music and arts board (we watched Bell, Book and Candle for the first one, but don't even get me started...) The CE held our Halloween Party, complete with Haunted House run by the junior high students (that should say high school students as well, but none showed up. rant for another day: teenagers who don't have time for community)
• Moving- A few weeks ago I moved out of Comrade Landlord's house and in with a friend from school... hmm, it may take a few days to come up with a good name for him. The house is owned by his mom, so rent is crazy reasonable. There have been a few renovations going on there, but nothing I can't handle. Winifred seems to be settling in well, though I'll let her tell you about it on her own blog. Last night I moved my ottoman into my room and I now have a cozy little reading nook! I also get a room in the basement for all my crafting and storage. Oh! And the best part, perhaps, is that my roommate works nights, so it is like living by myself most of the time, and hanging out with friends the rest of the time! (can you tell I like the new place? woot!)
• And More! There's been a lot more, I just can't remember all of it... working on editing first big project for school...starting pre-production on second project called 'Snip'... behind on papers (as usual)...new boss at work (did I talk about her yet?)...oh yeah! and a new camera, so this blog will start to be a bit more interesting!

So, here's how this month of blogging is gonna go - since I have two blogs, I will sometimes post here, and sometimes on my FilmAching blog. Be sure to look there tomorrow, since I will be posting about the most exciting thing to happen EVER!

(hint: to me. this year.)

Friday Five: Autumn

Singing Owl at RevGalBlogPals gives this week’s Friday Five about Autumn:

“Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest. Jeremiah 5:23b

The Autumnal Equinox has just come 'round again. I took a look back at our Friday Fives and noted that it always seems to make the Rev Gals and their Pals think of changes.

There is something so nostalgic about this time of year, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. The nights grow cooler, crops are harvested, for some of us the leaves are beginning to change colors. The scent of smoke is in the air, pumpkins are in the stores (or on wagons, or in roadside stands for those of us in the country). I'm thinking of putting away my summer clothes and pulling out the sweaters. And I have a tub of Fall-themed items that my husband just lugged up from the basement. I'm looking for my scarecrow.

For this week, let's share some memories along with some hopes and expectations.”

1. Share a Fall memory.

I remember a lot of contemplation from my childhood, though my guess is that those who knew me as a child would not have known I was thinking that much! In the autumn, I loved to kneel on a chair in the living room, looking out the big window at the cars driving through the rain. There was always music playing; sometimes Enya or Priscilla Herdman (just downloaded one of her cds onto my computer yesterday because it felt like fall!), but I recall one time in particular when Pachebel’s Canon was playing and it just felt perfect. That memory is one of the happy places I go when I’m feeling low.

2. Your favorite Fall clothes--(past or present)?

I just moved my fall and winter clothes box to my new place, because I knew I had enough to cover me if it turned cold (we’ve had some really hot days lately). The box is clear, so I could peek inside - a little bubble of excitement popped inside me! I saw my wool cloak which I like to wear to church. It is brown with an orange and golden-yellow geometric design. I also saw some cool weather tunics, which look cute with narrow legged jeans and boots…. Basically, I like all my Fall clothing! But that’s what happens when you live in a state that’s cold 9 months out of the year!

3. Share a campfire story, song, experience...etc.

So many of my memories from childhood are of camping, sitting around the campfire, hearing silly and scary stories, or just talking about all sorts of things really, so much so that it would be hard to pick just one! But really, although Christmas is the time I think the most about my extended family, Fall is the time that reminds me most of my nuclear family – going to the Downtown library on a rainy day with my mom, hiking through the woods on the lookout for deer with my dad, endlessly harassing my brother and sister for inclusion In their ‘big kid’ worlds… it reminds me of how blest I was, even with all the struggles we had, that I was so loved, so assuredly.

And this reminds me of the passage above. There were things to be afraid of for me as a child, and I was afraid and worried frequently. And yet, I never questioned if I was loved; it went without saying that we would be there for each other. And that’s really what this passage says to me about God – the power of creation may frighten us at times, but it should also prove to us how deep and wide God’s love for us goes, and that she will always be there for us.

4. What is your favorite thing about this time of year?

The weather, of course… Fall really has become my favorite season, and for more reasons than just the weather, but even though I had to rush back upstairs to find my long forgotten umbrella this morning, another little bubble of excitement popped when I heard the noise of cars driving past my house in the rain… (see above)

5. What changes are you anticipating in your life, your church, family...whatever...as the season changes and winter approaches?

There have already been some changes in our family, and they will continue to take time for healing and adjusting. I am moving in a few weeks, which is a change that affects the whole family, since I have been living with my brother and sister-in-law. Also, I have taken on some new and not so new responsibilities for this fall, and that is a little scary, but I’ve made up my mind to say no to any further requests!

Bonus: What food says "AUTUMN" at your house? Recipes always appreciated.

I only like soup when it’s cold outside, so I always look forward to appreciating my favorite soup again – butternut squash! Unfortunately, I am lazy and usually get the kind in a can or box, or go to Wolfgang Puck Express for theirs!

I also, like my mom, feel like eating aeblekage, but you can go to AuntieKnickers blog to learn about that!

Here’s an extra bonus of my own, BOOKS and MOVIES:

I have a book and a movie that are mandatory for fall. The book is one from a local Minneapolis writer (who as far as we can tell, only wrote the one book), and is a young adult novel about a boy who moves from Minneapolis to a farm in Pennsylvania….where he meets the ghost of his ancestor just in time for Halloween! It’s called The Riddle of Penncroft Farm, by Dorothea Jensen

The film I have to watch is Baby Boom with Diane Keaton. It is so deliciously 80s and there is a great montage of the fall when she is working in the orchard and making babyfood and then driving around Vermont selling it… I rent it every year!

Yoooo Whooo? ALBERT!

In junior high my sister played Mrs. Mae Peterson in Bye Bye Birdie. I remember hanging around the gym/auditorium after school when she had rehearsals (I loved being the center of attention as a cute little 2nd grader) and I was so in awe of her performance. I also remember the first time I was conscious of my own suspension of disbelief.

She entered from the back of the gym, behind the audience. I must have seen her do it a dozen times in rehearsal. And yet, when those doors opened and she called out, "Yooooouuu whhoooo!!?? Sonny Boy? Albert!" I spun around with the rest of my classmates.

What's happening now? Who's that old woman? Albert doesn't look happy to see her!

Afterwards, I was astounded that it hadn't even occurred to me that it was my sister. I was so wrapped up in the story and the characters that I was able to turn off the part of my brain that said, "that's the old fur shawl she found at the church rummage sale" or "wow, her cat eye glasses really do fit the part!"

I live a lot of my life turning on and off my suspension of disbelief. Tonight I watched two of my new fav TV shows. One is about an astronaut crew in the future (Defying Gravity) and the other about a model who dies, only to come back in the body of a plus size lawyer (who's assistant is Margaret Cho! how lucky is that!?) (oh, and that show is Drop Dead Diva). These plot lines are so completely implausible, unrealistic, silly even. And yet, when I'm watching them, I turn that part of brain off and I fall in love with the characters and devote myself to their lives for half an hour or so.

But sometimes, the ability to turn off parts of your self is a bad thing. Sometimes, it makes you miss the old lady calling out to you....

Lately I've been imagining God as an old woman from some small immigrant community. She's a small woman in stature, but she makes up for it in her voice and all-around power. You can sit there, going about your life, trying to ignore her, but eventually the nagging wears you down and you have to turn - "Yes! What IS it, Mother?!"

You are cross. She is cross. It looks bad.

But then she looks at you with a sheepish grin - "But Sweety, I only want what's best for you..."

I've been sitting here, trying to ignore that calling voice for a long time. Sometimes I would pretend to answer it, trying to satisfy her with half-commitments and empty promises, but eventually I realized, she really does only want what's best for me.

And the funny thing is, once I answered the call, once I turned around and said, "OK, what do you need me to do?" She replied with, "Oh, you know, just keep it in mind. What you're doing is good, I just want to know that you know that I know that you know that I have plans for you."

Yes, Mother. I know. I'm ready to answer the call. When the time comes.

p.s. the picture is obviously not my sister ;p

Quick Update - General Synod

I'm spending this weekend in Grand Rapids, MI, where I am a delegate to the 27th General Synod of The United Church of Christ. We are doing a lot and having a lot of fun along the way!

Check out my semi-live blog of the events - Experience the Immersion

I'll try to post some of my more personal theologically related revelations here as the weekend continues.